There’s a trend I’ve noticed on my Facebook feed where anytime a parent complains about something related to parenting or posts an article about the hardships of parenting someone else, usually someone that doesn’t have kids, will complain about it and tell them that since they chose to be a parent they have no right to complain. But parents have every right to admit that they are having a hard time and seek support for that. There is no shame in admitting that parenting can be a struggle and it’s good to seek out support from other parents. So don’t let someone else shame you into trying to act like you have your parenting act together all the time. No one does. And it’s ok not to be perfect.
It’s not just people without kids that judge parents who are having a hard time though. Sometimes the worst judgments come from other parents. The perfect parents who always make fancy Pinterest style lunches for their kids and never show up at school drop off still in their pajamas. And if they don’t struggle with the demands of parenting then good for them. But most of us struggle. And those of us who work struggle even more because it’s hard to juggle jobs and kids and household responsibilities and try to maintain a relationship with your spouse on top of it.
So parents don’t feel bad if you’re struggling and don’t feel bad if you post something real about your daily life. I used to be ashamed to admit that I have seen loads of laundry piled up in the laundry home and that more often than not the kids dig through a basket of clean clothes to find what they want to wear each day because I didn’t put the laundry away. But now I’m not. Because they have clean clothes and that’s what matters. And they are learning to adjust to situations and be self-sufficient and that is a good thing.
I also no longer feel shame about running through the fast food drive-thru for dinner a couple of nights each week. For a long time, I was ashamed to admit that I let my kids have fast food because one of the worst things that you can in mommy circles admit that you take the easy way out and get fast food for your kids sometimes. But everyone does it. Everyone. And any mom who says that she never got chicken nuggets for her child that wouldn’t stop screaming and wouldn’t eat anything else is lying.
It’s ok to admit that parenting something is ridiculously hard and that most of us feel like we have no idea what we’re doing most of the time. It’s only by admitting that parenting is hard and trying to support each other than any of us are going to make it through this crazy but wonderful parenting experience and not completely screw up our kids. We need to support each other and not judge each other.
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